On the day in question I was considerably more chirpy than I am right now sitting in day old clothes with a stolen teapot in my bedroom.
I decided to be more adventurous in my coffee shop hunt venturing away from my daily work commute. Having passed a few lovely looking places on my way out of the theatre one night I headed towards the lower end of the Royal Mile which gradually becomes Cannongate. (One thing I love about Edinburgh is how streets just merge into one another. They just become different streets with seemingly no warning or evidence.) Along this street it is easy to see how JK Rowling was supposedly inspired to write Harry Potter. It's evident in every stone brick, every street alley and every clock tower. It is mysterious, quaint and all together beautiful. It's like stepping back in time.
As I retraced my walk out of the theatre I decided to turn down one of the side streets. I passed a few cafe bistros that looked more appropriate for dining until I came across Jo-Jo's Bakery. It's a cute little shop tucked into a corner with danish baked goods and cakes advertised in the window. I went in and ordered. The lady behind the counter made some qualms about burning the milk but apart from that seemed quite pleasant.
About ten seconds later another woman walked into the shop after me and asked for a latte to drink in but in a takeaway cup. This is when disaster struck. I was suddenly thrown into a whirlwind argument. The answer this lady got was unexpected;
"Well you can have a takeaway cup, but you can't drink the coffee in here then."
Bearing in mind we were the only two customers in the shop.
"Excuse me?"
"The cups cost me 40p each so if your going to drink coffee in here I can give you a proper cup."
"Well I won't be staying long which is why I might need a takeaway cup."
"Well then you can go straight away."
"Excuse me?"
"The cups cost me 40p so you can't sit in with it."
"But I don't know how long I'll be here for."
The lady behind the counter now scrapping out the used ground coffee from under the machine into the bin shrugs.
"Are you being serious?"
"Yes. (Sigh) The cups cost..."
"Oh you know what this is not good customer service, just forget it" and she walks out.
Like a wild animal having lost its prey the woman turns on me.
"I mean I'm not being unfair here am I? Is it unfair?" The scrapping becomes more violent.
"The cups cost me 40p each. She was ridiculous wasn't she? I mean should I just let anyone sit in? The cups cost me 40p each you know?" There is a short silence as I realise these questions aren't rhetorical.
"I really don't know. I'm sorry."
"It's just her reaction. I mean would you let someone drink in with a takeaway cup? The cups cost me 40p each."
I can't quite see the reason why the cups costing 40p effects this decision, but she obviously can.
"I'm really sorry. This is actually making me quite uncomfortable. I think I'll leave it too." I excuse.
She gives a twitchy pent-up sigh as I tread carefully towards the door. Just as I step outside I hear a shrill;
"Well fine! I'm PREGNANT!"
I carry on walking, but can't help but laugh. What a surreal thirty seconds that was. Slightly disturbed but with a smile on my face I head back to the Royal Mile and pop into Has Beans coffee shop. What a difference. This place feels like a haven in comparison. Tucked into the historic brick work it's all dark wooden chairs and murky coloured walls with a faint smell of cooked bacon. A definite throwback to the 90's. I used to be a bit snobby about places like this, but as I have learnt they often do the best coffees and perfect toasties and fry ups. This is just that example. The coffee was perfect. Hot, creamy, not too much froth and for £1.95 a bargain! The two girls serving were equally lovely. At one point the owner, with his rounded bacon filled belly, came upstairs greeted me with a friendly "Hello" and went about organizing the fridges. Good on ya boss man!
I left the shop with a smile on my face and not because I'd just found out someone was pregnant.
If you're into your high trend coffee lounges this place might not suit, but for a touch of homely retro (it reminded me of eating prawn cocktail sandwiches in the Christian Centre Cafe with my mum as a kid) definitely pop into Has Beans. After all, if Les Dennis and David Hasselhof can bring shows up to Edinburgh we all love a Has Been.
Frothy Fun Fact of the Day: Not all pregnant woman are twitchy and crazed.
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